Picking up on the topic of sunflower seeds, it was brought to my attention that there is an organization called the Gerbil Liberation Front, which is keenly interested in the availability of the sunflower seeds. They are a group of mutant gerbils from an experiment gone wild at University of Chicago, and they claim that "they want to plant some sunflowers". But I suspect the sunflower seeds would not make it very far.
Their motives are a bit questionable I think.
For example, this character showed up on my doorstep, who "just happened to be passing by".
He was asking about when sunflower seeds might be available for "planting in his garden", but he looked rather suspicious, and kept rubbing his hands together in anticipation and wrinkling his nose.
My suspicions turned out to be true. Due to some careful investigative reporting, I was able to uncover video footage of members of the Gerbil Liberation Front voraciously consuming sunflowers, in this video that was posted to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jkOeJ5T3Lg
And an anonymous source provided another piece of evidence; a poem entitled "Sunflower Seed", which reveals the true clandestine purposes of the Gerbil Liberation Front. To listen to an audio recording of the evidence, right click here and save the mp3 file to your computer -- then you can double click to listen to it, or import it into iTunes and put it on your iPod.
Note: If you listen to the evidence, you may have trouble making out the words, since a gerbil's voice is a bit high pitched, and when they get excited they become unintelligible, maniacally babbling on about sunflower seeds, which they dearly love. So I've included a transcript to help you follow along:
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Sunflower Seeds
I see you coming with that look in your eye
I see you coming with a gift from on high
Vast fields of beauty, stretching for sun
you played the Reaper, harvest time has come
I know you've got the goods
You know I want the goods
I love I love I love my sunflower seeds
Oh yeah, sunflower seeds
I'll pay the price of what you've got in your hand
From south dakota from the promised land
They photosynthesize my seeds of destruction
They drive me wild to heights of mindless consumption
I love I love I love my sunflower seeds
Oh yeah, sunflower seeds
yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
I'll do some tricks I'll pick up sticks I'll run around I'll make a sound
I'll spin the wheel I'll do the deed
name anything, just one more seed
I love I love I love my sunflower seeds
Oh yeah, sunflower seeds
